I know I shouldn’t. I hated how you abused me. The constant pressure to have sex. Send nudes. And everything else I didn’t feel comfortable with. You did all that and yet all I can think about is all of the little things I’m absolutely in love with. How can I not fall in love with someone who writes me songs, knows just what to do when I cry, can calm me down more than anyone else, and who I thought would be there no matter what. But you’re not here. And you’re gone. And I’m pretty sure you’re on to another girl. Why am I surprised? I was so stupid. I should’ve known from the beginning it wasn’t a good idea. Now I understand how people say they may never know how to love again. Because I don’t want to love anymore. I can’t handle when love goes away. My heart doesn’t even feel like it’s beating. It hurts to get out of bed in the morning. You were exactly what I needed. With you, everything was okay. I was at home. But now you might as well be dead the separation is so much.